professional pineapple impersonator
Come on, baby, calm me down
You’re the only one who knows how
if i was your boyfriend i would do so much cute stuff. i’d bring you soup when you were feeling sick, i’d rub your tummy when you got cramps, i’d wake you up in the middle of the night dressed as an eagle shouting abstract poetry at my own dick
i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they yell at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again
I also hate when you do this and then they tell the entire family, neighborhood, their workmates, and everyone in the entire world about it.
And they wonder why I never tell them anything anymore
i was labelling stuff today and this lady scoffed at me and i was like hi and she was like writing with ur left hand is immoral. its 2014 and someone actually said that to my face